1. 1

    If Only by Isla Scott

    If only I knew,
    knew what to say,
    my mind has gone blank,
    I don’t like things this way.
    Turmoil I feel, life is on pause or so it seems,
    inwardly I dream, imagine
    a whole new me,
    a me that may never be -
    whats to come, for the person
    who hides, runs away,
    stays distant and is confused at heart.

  3. 16


    Lately my minds been on overtime,
    wondering all variety of ‘what if’s’,
    the missed opportunities, mistakes and hurt -
    would life be better without what made me me?
    Will my future ever exist, until I can fully let go,
    or are lessons still to be learnt?
    How will I know when the time is right,
    can I move ahead with my head held high,
    if I still work so hard to hide,
    hide away, avoid all challenges,
    stay as I am, yet secretly waiting for something, or someone,
    to show my full potential, so I’ll believe in myself fully,
    once more regain the drive and take control,
    life is out there, if you feel you can make sense of it.

  5. 26

    Who are you? by Isla Scott

    Who are you to say who I am,
    who are you to know what I think?
    labels, labels everywhere - what good does it do?
    When I look at you, what do I see?
    who you feel you are, or what we’re told to see,
    misfits, antisocial rebels abandoned by society,
    with anger lying; trapped within,
    dreamers others criticise, your head should be grounded and not sky high,
    quiet introverts, you never know what their thinking so (their) better left alone, right?
    right? says who?
    Who are you? you are you,
    stand up tall and take pride in showing the world
    im not a label, I’m not here to be defined
    I’m here to be me.

  7. 1

    Wondering by Isla Scott

    Trying to pin down
    the thoughts that once flew free freely
    around this head of mine,
    I sit and wonder whats becoming
    of all that surrounds. Memories,
    possessions - photos, reminders,
    harking back to a previous moment in time.
    Things often seem more clear in retrospect,
    yet I still feel many a regret,
    feelings seated deep within, start to re-appear,
    sometimes it seems I’m destined,
    destined to question,
    are mistakes really so,
    or am I masking a hidden identity?
    Self doubt still ties me down -
    is it right to hide from what keeps you back,
    or are you simply kidding yourself?

    You live and learn, so they say,
    still I wish I knew where im headed,
    help me move forward
    and free me from the chains of my past,
    when a blank page may be able to emerge,
    a heavy sigh emitted and finally gain the confidence
    to try and move on.

  9. 17
  11. 1
  13. 1

    Remembering by Isla Scott

    This feels/seems rather unfinished but is as much as I managed to write:-

    Remembering by Isla Scott

    Remembering when I was young,
    life was full of opportunities, wonder, excitement,
    now the world seems different.
    So much changes through the years,
    questions and doubts arise,
    uncertainty pulls you in,
    it may seem like everyone you come across is judging you -
    it all seemed so clear, back when everything
    was seen through a childs eye.
    When does the change occur?
    that can make you your own worst self critic,
    confidence becomes sapped,
    and presumed mockery holds you back -
    is all as it feels,
    has society dictated our own success or failure?.

  15. 25
  17. 2
  19. 21

    Will there ever be… by Isla Scott

    Will there ever be someone,
    someone to lean on,
    someone to guide me,
    someone to help me get there,
    to help show me the way,
    to tolerance and true self acceptance.
    I can not fathom, an existence without distance,
    I need space or my outer shell will simply break
    and I fear for the moment of realisation,
    when they see the real me,
    the perfectionist who angers easily,
    the child who prefers to run and hide
    than face their fears head on.

    Could it be you?
    Can you keep me safe,
    or will the tears flow
    in frustration, sadness and anger
    thinking of what was and could have been.
    What are my chances? I ask,
    honest and true,
    what are my chances,
    of not hurting you?.
    Why does my body betray me,
    through feelings actions and emotions,
    heart, mind and soul,
    I try to ignore that which puts me down,
    the inaccuracies, flaws,
    shame, humiliation, embarrassments and mistakes,
    but as a self conscious perfectionist a life sentence is served.
    The fear is, I just don’t know, how I might act,
    with my guard raised so high, opening up is hard to do,
    and I may say things I don’t mean,
    the worries run deep.

    So again I ask - will I ever find that closeness, that a part of me craves?
    am I set to be my own worst enemy forever more,
    or will true perspective be gained
    and true belief in me felt and genuinely believed,
    for only then can genuine happiness be gained
    and in so the ability to open up and be with someone,
    with less chance of the bad in me to trip me up,
    to shame and sever,
    I look forward to that day.

Hi, my names Isla. I'm 30 and enjoy taking photos, listening to music, watching and reviewing movies, writing poems etc. and oh yeah im a BSB fan :) I have a BSB news/media tumblr too, see my sub-blog, the Backstreet Media Community blog.
If you'd like to read my poems, search for the tag poem (type poem into the text box by the magnifying glass) and they should all show up.
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